As my husband's 30 year Navy career is rapidly coming to an end, I have noticed a few things. Number one, when I meet a Navy wife for the first time, and it comes up in conversation that my husband is retiring, the reply is usually, "Oh, how nice! 20 years?" To which I respond, "Thirty". That one word changes everything. I am immediately bombarded with questions and opinions, varying from "Oh, my goodness. How have you done THIS for thirty years?" to "Congratulations, that's quite an accomplishment.".
So let me just answer a few of those questions here:
No, we have never lived overseas. The opportunity and timing just were never right. I would have loved the opportunity to live in Europe. What great history and culture to enjoy!
Yes, we have met a lot of wonderful people; I still stay in touch with many of them. The beautiful thing about Navy life is, if you are stationed somewhere with people you just don't have anything in common with, wait eighteen months - one of you is bound to move!
Yes, we have lived in several different places...some of them wonderful, some not so great. But you do your best to make a home in each and every one. Find something good in each place to make a happy memory.
Your husband's, squadron, ship, unit, command, etc. is not anti-family. They want your sailor to be happy at home. This makes for a good sailor at work. That being said, life happens. The world is ever changing. And the bottom line is, he raised his right hand and signed on the bottom line to protect and defend. Sometimes it doesn't fit into your schedule. There is no holiday that we have not "moved" to accommodate the comings and goings and needs of the Navy. Turkey still tastes just as good on the Friday after Thanksgiving. Anniversaries are even sweeter when you are finally together.
As far as lawn care, car care, child care, pet care (do you see where this is going?) go, you do what you can, you ask friends and neighbors if you need help, and at the end of that cruise, detachment, training exercise, you have the satisfaction of knowing you made it through. And you are a better, stronger woman for it.
Take time to make time for yourself. Even if it's just a few minutes here and there, it makes a difference. Several times a day makes all the difference in the world. Five minutes before the kids wake up, come home from school, in from riding bikes, just relax. The dishes will get done. The floors will get swept. And the dust....well, the dust will always be there.
Here we are. Exactly four months from my husband's retirement ceremony. For all of those who want to know, "How did you ever do THIS for thirty years?" - I did it happily. I did it gladly. I did it so my husband could do what he loves. And in a way, I'm going to miss it. Enjoy the experiences. Thirty years is over in the blink of an eye.
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